At Debt Support Trust we help people with their money problems, however sometimes there are other issues involved too, such as gambling, alcohol addiction and drugs. Sharing the experiences of others can help us to understand the problems people are facing and that managing debt can sometimes only be the start.
This information is supplied on behalf of a person we helped at Debt Support Trust who did not wish to be named.
‘One problem leads to another’ is exactly how I felt.
After my divorce the debt spiral out of control but I always believed that I would be able to deal with it next month. Looking back, I should have dealt with it right away- I may have had more options at that stage, I just couldn’t face the all-round failure, I had become. In my eyes, the only comfort indulgence or friend I seemed to have at this time was a glass of wine.
I suppose like for so many it just took the edge off my situation; it helped me get a good night’s sleep and it didn’t affect anyone else. But, for me, thinking like this was like slamming the self destruct button.
The truth was I couldn’t get up in the morning, the headaches were awful and the thought of facing the day was not appealing at all. I always told myself at this point of the day that there would be no alcohol tonight. As for not affecting anyone else, well with two young children in the house my mood swings certainly drove them further and further away, retreating to their rooms at every opportunity. In my mind that was their fault and their moods that caused this, not mine. Night time can be a lonely time for many when we reflect on all the missed opportunities we have had or how ‘if only’, our life could have been wonderful.
Self pity is probably the most damaging emotion of them all and snapping out of it is not only not possible but also not an option.
We are each in control ultimately of our own life, however if you can relate to any of the above I urge you to seek help. It is out there, the first thing I did was get the drinking under control. I knew I could no longer carry on the road I was on, I needed to take control of my own destiny. I stopped drinking alcohol, though this was not as easy as it may sound, as I did not have anyone to discuss it with because I had not told anyone about the problem. This caused me to slip a few times though, somehow I always managed to stop again. People who tell you they can control alcohol are wrong, alcohol controls you. It was only when I seeked real help and joined a local support group that I really could say I had stopped. You see I didn’t have a problem or so I told myself, so admitting I did truly was the hardest part.
I still believe the route of my problems was my debt and it was many months before I contacted Debt Support Trust to receive debt help as how best to solve my financial situation. They advised me that due to the fact I had very little disposable income I should either consider bankruptcy or making token payments towards my debt. Again the shame of this I wanted to drink to take the feeling of failure away however I wanted to pay my debt back. They explained the downside; that it would affect my credit rating but how much worse could it get. I decided to contact my creditors and offer them token payments. My debt isn’t really going anywhere just now but my creditors froze my interest and charges and at least it’s some pressure off for now. I’m expecting to get more work shortly and it’ll make a difference to how much I can pay back to my debt.
I advise anyone who finds themselves in a similar situation seek help immediately. Don’t let things drag you down and keep your chin up